12 things I will ALWAYS remember Next Games taught me.
TheLostOnes
Member Posts: 3,032
Applying NML logic to real life
1) Doctors are amazing. And no matter the number of bullet holes in your body -- if you pay them a bit of money they can stitch you up in no time. Literally.
2) If you arrive at a house and can't seem to open the door, check the garden for a flag pole. If you lower the flag, the door can open.
3) When you go to the movies, the staff hands you a gift when you leave. It could be a leather jacket (but don't get too excited, it will usually be of inferior quality and two sizes too small).
4) The excessively obese are more healthy than people with normal BMI.
5) Some hunters use rifles that shoot bullets with 2-yard-wide diameters.
6) The main building material for houses, tents and other structures is the tomato.
7) Soldiers who carry grenades usually have them attached to their helmet or another part of the head.
8) Gasoline is produced by cars. The better the car, the more gasoline it can hold.
9) If you get the unfortunate choice between being stabbed with a screwdriver or taking a full salvo from an AK-47, choose the latter which will damage you a lot less.
11) If your cell phone doesn't have enough signal or if you only seem to be able to call your least favorite contacts, try to tape another 14 phones on to its side. It will boost the signal and allow you to call people who're a lot cooler.
12) When you reach pension age and retire from your job, your co-workers will get about 25% of your skills that they can distribute between them.
1) Doctors are amazing. And no matter the number of bullet holes in your body -- if you pay them a bit of money they can stitch you up in no time. Literally.
2) If you arrive at a house and can't seem to open the door, check the garden for a flag pole. If you lower the flag, the door can open.
3) When you go to the movies, the staff hands you a gift when you leave. It could be a leather jacket (but don't get too excited, it will usually be of inferior quality and two sizes too small).
4) The excessively obese are more healthy than people with normal BMI.
5) Some hunters use rifles that shoot bullets with 2-yard-wide diameters.
6) The main building material for houses, tents and other structures is the tomato.
7) Soldiers who carry grenades usually have them attached to their helmet or another part of the head.
8) Gasoline is produced by cars. The better the car, the more gasoline it can hold.
9) If you get the unfortunate choice between being stabbed with a screwdriver or taking a full salvo from an AK-47, choose the latter which will damage you a lot less.
11) If your cell phone doesn't have enough signal or if you only seem to be able to call your least favorite contacts, try to tape another 14 phones on to its side. It will boost the signal and allow you to call people who're a lot cooler.
12) When you reach pension age and retire from your job, your co-workers will get about 25% of your skills that they can distribute between them.
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Comments
Can you come up with No. 13, 14, 15 etc?
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It taught me to prepare myself for a world of ugly ass survivors all around me...
14.) Radio tower is how we broadcast to others and promise them a safe haven to come over. But when they show up, we usually just rob their pockets of tokens and kick them out.
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18) Only obese people attend BBQs.
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KNOW THE DIFFERENCE!
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Sometimes you want to put three people in a car but the vehicle is oddly preventing the third person from entering. Later you by accident meet a stranger on the road who needs a ride, proving that cars have premonition.
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Here's what's really going. Your two survivors didn't want to have that third guy tagging along, probably because he insists on singing along to the radio or wants to play I spy with my eye. So they wisely chose the 2-seater for their mission vehicle. "Sorry dude, no more room"
And that stranger they happened upon? Poor sap had to go in the trunk. But it doesn't matter because after bringing him back to camp and checking him out, they opened the gates and sent him packing.
24) You may enter your neighbor's backyard through his gate, take something, and leave. He won't call the cops, rather he will be grateful and say thank you the next time he sees you.
25) Sometimes when you shoot an enemy in a uniform whose name is Jeff the sound you hear makes it sound like their name should have been Jenny.
No. 18) is not entirely true. There have been thin people but the obese have eaten them. Look at the left deckchair, there are still some... leftovers...
Morbid Survivors are looking for you! If you are looking for a new guild, PM me.
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You are all jenn y