NML: Just 4 Laugh
Thunderstorm
Member Posts: 89
Occasionally, I read some of the comments in some of the discussions and they can be really funny. It would be cool if all the jokes and humor are placed in one thread so others will laugh, smile or nod after reading them. So, I decided to start this thread solely for this purpose. Anyone can contribute. It can be a humor, a tease, a tinge of sarcasm etc. If I think of more things, I will post it here. Of course, my humor may not be yours and vice versa. Never mind, it's just for fun.
When I started playing, I noticed something about Merle very early in the game. Thus, he will be in my first scene.
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Scene 1
When I started playing, I noticed something about Merle very early in the game. Thus, he will be in my first scene.
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Scene 1
Survivor: Merle is so lucky! He’s the only hero with two weapons.
NG: No. Every human can only have one weapon in the game.
Survivor: But he has a knife stuck at the end of his right arm. Surely, he can use it to kill some walkers, melee style.
NG: In the game, Merle is a shooter, not a scout. He can only kill with a pistol or a revolver.
Survivor: How about the knife?
NG: Too bad. He just have to saw it off.
Merle: What the f….., not again!
15
Comments
Scene 2
Survivor: Hey Merle, as a shooter, how do you reload your pistol? You only have one hand.
Merle: Sigh, you tell me.
Survivor: Maybe you can ask Daryl to help you?
Merle: I think I can still reload a pistol but NOT a revolver, but it’ll be slow and I probably miss a turn.
Survivor: In the game, do you have a turn missed?
Merle: Actually no. I guess NG is kind enough to give me a handicap.
Shopkeep: Sure what weapons it for.
Daryl: it’s for my crossbow here.
Shopkeep: are you having a laugh? You can’t get silencers for crossbows, they’re already silent.
Scene 3
Player: I want my red gas back! Or give me an equivalent amount of good stuff like radios or RPs.
NG: We have decided.
Player: Wow…that’s fast. Radios or RPs? <grin>
NG: We will replace the red gas with green gas.
Player: What!!? That’s not fair. I paid for it. I demand better compensation!
NG: The red gas is actually green gas. We only painted the can red.
Scene 4
Hunter: I can shoot further
NG: Nerf
Bruiser: I can stun anyone
NG: Nerf
Dodge: I can dodge even when stunned
NG: Nerf
Luck: I add to the traits
NG: Nerf
Wrestler: I am powerful trait
NG: Nerf
Grenades: I cause too much damage
NG: Nerf
Forum Members: I can speak my mind out
NG: You are Banned
Players: We hate bullet dodge
NG: Makes the fast walkers dodge bullets
Players: We don't need council update
NG: There is a council update
Players: We need a council update
NG: There is no council update.
Shane: I need hair
NG: You look good bald
I am the one and only Zee Black, climbed all the way to Level 75, part of SG Woot, the 3 million star guild
Rick, oh great I'll take two.
Scene 6
Survivor: How does the pickled jar work?
Rufus: You toss the jar afar and when it hits the walkers, they die.
Survivor: The pickles killed them?
Rufus: No, it’s the shattered glass jar.
Few minutes later…
Survivor: Shattered glass? Wouldn’t that make a loud sound? Wouldn’t that attract more walkers?
Rufus: I guess so but somehow the threat count isn’t rising. <grin>
Daryl: So that’s where the silencer for my crossbow went to. Darn you, Rufus! Pickle me this.... feel the pointy end of my fiery spear!
NG: soon
^dont forget this one
Scene 9
Shane: Angie, I’m not appearing if you want me bald.
Angie: …but you will get upgrades. Imagine the power! You will be more famous than Rick.
Shane: No, means no. I have hair and I like it where it is, on my head.
Angie: Fine. Your loss.
As time passed by, Shane’s popularity dwindled to oblivion. 5 years later…
Shane: Angie, you there? Okay, I’ll do it. Hair for fame. I’ll prove to that Sheriff, I’m better than him.
Angie: <grin>
Shane: Can I bring my shotgun along? Please….
And now you know the real reason behind Shane’s absence for the past 5 years.
Daryl: I have a better idea. How about I run into the middle of them and shoot one from behind a rock that’s right next to it?
Rick: That’s the stupidest idea I’ve ever heard. Why would anyone do that?
Daryl: Game mechanics.
"OK everybody stand back! I am going to blow all those walkers to Kingdom come!"
(Fires grenade.)
"Huh? They're still alive!?"
Morgan: (Holding a stick)
*Sighs*
"Don't worry I got this."
NG: Sorry, we don't want that. You're going to hit walkers with a bat.
Eugene: What?
NG: And we're giving your pickle jar to Abraham.
T-Dog: All of us?
NG: Uh, no, just the whites and Asians
T-Dog: I see BLM hasn’t reached Finland.
Hunter : I'm tired of tomatoes let's go hunting for some meat.
Shooter: Don't worry I got this.. My pistol shoots farther then your rifle.
Forum Members: We love you Teeceezy
Teeceezy: I am leaving NG
Forum Members: We love you ZBot
ZBot: Awww you love me, I am here foreverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Forum Members: Damnnnnnnnnnnnnn
I am the one and only Zee Black, climbed all the way to Level 75, part of SG Woot, the 3 million star guild
Glenn: Look at my p-cap
Rick: Look at my hat
Shane: Damn NG, what would have happened if you had given me hair
NG: Here you go
Shane: Double Damn
I am the one and only Zee Black, climbed all the way to Level 75, part of SG Woot, the 3 million star guild
NG: hahaha okay no problem
NG(this challenge): fuck all you players eat shit.
players: 😢
NG: gold dump mania back to back weeks, sales are down must force players to spend more
Certain players: 🖕🏿Skipping this challenge to
Daryl: Survivors, are you ready to face the walkers?
Survivors: Yes Sir.
Daryl: Good! Time for equipment check. Weapons?
Survivors: Checked.
Daryl: Body Armor?
Survivors: Checked.
Daryl: Upgraded?
Survivors: Fully upgraded, Sir.
Daryl: Well done. Now, off you go to your challenge missions.
Hours later…
Angie: Daryl, I’m here to report that we lost the entire group of survivors.
Daryl: What? What the hell happened? They were well prepared.
Angie: They encountered fast walkers and all three of them died of nose bleed.
Daryl: What the ….
Merle: I heard those fast walkers were undead women but totally naked. Probably the reason why.
Daryl: Sigh
Moments later...
Daryl: We need to counter those "attacks" from the fast walkers. Any suggestions?
Morgan: Introduce some blindfolds or face gears?
Daryl: Good idea. Maybe NG will read this. Any more ideas?
Jerry: Cotton buds! Just stuff it into your nostrils.
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5X Adamantium Deal
Guaranteed Heroes Tokens
At least one of the three options will be a guaranteed Hero or Alt-Hero.
The other two options you have 55% chance of getting an Alt-Hero or 45% chance of getting a 5-star Survivor.
You have 5 rerolls.
You get to keep all three.
Amount of tokens
55% of getting 160 tokens
25% of getting 640 tokens
15% of getting 1280 tokens
5% of getting 2560 tokens (specially for this deal only)
All these for only 25 radios!!
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Angie: So many fives! What are you waiting for? Start saving those radios. Once again, thank you for your support throughout the 5 years. Hope you will continue to support us in the foreseeable future!
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* I will strike lottery AGAIN if any of these comes true. If it comes true, I will high-5 everyone here! We can only hope .
He is playing with himself while taking photo shots with NG!!
Governor: I feel horny when someone is playing me! I AM THE BEST!
While you scrutinize the pic, check out the father Gabriel too.
These are static pics, can't see much... BUT if you see the animation. Unbelievable! What is NG doing? Mysterious ways indeed! Haha
An Interview with the Vampire Walker
Host: Angie
Guest: Johnnie Walker (the normal type)
Translator: Rob Zombie
Angie: Good evening, Mr Walker. Thank you for taking the time to be here.
Walker: Call me Johnnie and it’s my pleasure. If only I could do this more often.
Angie: Why so? Is the working environment in NG that terrible?
Walker: You have no idea. NG is a no good research center which experimented on my kind.
Angie: You want to elaborate on that?
Walker: Well, let’s start with us normal walkers. Every day, they send dozens of us into the firing chamber.
Angie: Oh dear, wouldn’t that give you the second glorious death?
Walker: Not if they DON’T aim at your heads.
Angie: Why would they want to shoot you?
Walker: It’s a research center, Angie. They want to know how much hit points we have.
Angie: I see. I heard there are other variances of your type as well. Do you want to share their plight?
Walker: Sure. My own brother and a few others were sent to the incinerator chamber.
Angie: What’s that?
Walker: It’s a place where they pour kerosene or oil on the walkers and set them on fire.
Angie: That’s awful….ly painful.
Walker: Yeah, forever burning until they reach their second death. They are really hot, literally.
Angie: I see. I heard there are fast walkers among your ranks.
Walker: Fast walkers led a good life. All they got was a steroid injection which made them move very fast.
Angie: Led? Past tense?
Walker: They were all discontinued and terminated eventually.
Angie: You sure?
Walker: NG found that they move too fast. Way faster than any humans. NG doesn’t want that.
Angie: Johnnie, I think they are back. Recently they were spotted. They are now slightly slower but their new attack causes massive nose bleeds.
Walker: I guess nothing is wasted in NG. Now I understand why the punching bags exist in one of the test chambers. Wait till you hear about the fat walker.
Angie: I’m sure it’s an interesting story but for now, it's time for commercials. We will be right back.
<to be continued>